But can you brave what you most fear? I really think you can.

I am a shy person. No, I should probably be honest with myself here. I am a person that is too afraid, by nature. What am I afraid of? People. Social situations. Interpersonal interactions. That is probably why you’re finding this out in writing as opposed to in a video blog. What caused these fears? I have one major guess. The FEAR of what others might think about what you do, how you behave, how you talk, what you think!! This also includes overly seeking validation from others for what you do. Is this particular mindset a valid excuse to develop a sociophobic situation? My answer: No. How do I know this? Because I decided to brave these exact fears head-on and it worked.

Traveling places alone, living on my own, going to public places for miscellaneous tasks, expressing yourself verbally, confidently, are usually some trivial day-to-day activities for most. But, in my case, it’s not. These are usually well-executed missions with meticulous schemes, planned out well ahead in time, after factoring in all of the possible scenarios so that there’s absolutely no room for any error or embarrassment. Why? Because for some reason, it’s not just about me. For some reason, I believed that the bystanders who witness my actions, or the people that are even remotely involved with what I do, really give a damn about me. The truth is, they don’t even care about you. 

If you go a few thousand miles up into the sky and look down you’d see yourself as a mere tiny black dot, lost among seven billion other buzzing black dots. Seven billion other black dots with seven zillion other worries packed inside each of these black dots, that they don’t probably have enough headspace or time to be critical about what you wore on this particular day at this particular time, or what you decided to do with your life two years ago. The other seven billion worry-filled black dots wouldn’t give a shit about the way you looked or what you did in a mere passing second in a timeless cosmos. Then, if you go even beyond, move past all the atmospheric layers, and look down through the clouds, oh oh what do you see? You are simply nothing, some invisible speck of dust. So, why worry really? Truly, there’s no need to fear ANYTHING in life. You simply have to do what you do, go places, meet people, talk to people, buy groceries and simply just live your life however the hell you want. Because, temporally and spatially, we are simply nothing compared with the ever entangled vastness around us. Once you gain this perspective and realise this simple truth, you’re fine and you don’t have to fear anything, like ever.

Once you realise this, what do you do? You put it into action. Do all the things that you have always feared to do. I had the perfect opportunity to do this recently when I boldly decided to move to Europe for my higher studies. A very wise decision, I would say, as currently, it is giving me numerous chances to do things, simple things that I would usually fear, that I never had the guts to do on my own. For example, taking a long flight all alone, being chatty and social (coz I’m an introvert who usually keeps to myself), trying to get the hang of living by yourself, trying to limit your dependency on others, which, ironically, requires lots of interactions with the external world. I think I have never been so satisfied with myself and my life as I am being at the moment. It is like unlocking some hidden levels or talents that I never previously knew existed. This massive freshness in your outlook of the world, is, to my belief, the reward you get for deciding to face your fears. No matter how daunting it feels initially, taking baby steps with utter determination is what matters.

So, I still don’t know how this journey would turn out to be. But I am hopeful that it would turn me into the best version of myself. So, if you are still having second thoughts about getting out there, please don’t. Just at least try for it, try to do something and the doors would open up for you. I haven’t figured everything out yet, but what I can say, for the moment, is that at least I am there, I am on my way. So, just go for it and MAKE A DECISION to brave what you fear the most, even if it is not your CuppaTea.